Two years ago I said "I Do". Hank did too. We've also said some words since then, mostly nice words but sometimes some mean and hateful words too. I think we both agree that the second year of marriage has been WAY better than the first.
I learned a lot that first year, and I've learned a few things this year as well. Here are a few of the most important things.
There are magic words that should be part of every marriage. Magic words that make pretty much everything okay again. Words that keep you from falling off the ledge. Repeat after me.
I AM SORRY. IT'S MY FAULT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU.
If you can remember these words and say them (even if you don't think you mean them) then I promise you that your life and your relationship will get better. If you're married, use these words. If you're single, remember these words. One day they will come in handy.
I also have some words that you should never say. No matter what your feelings are telling you, just remember to never ever say these words.
LET'S ADOPT A CAT.
I also have a few things that should help couples communicate better....a language decoder if you will.
- What I said: I'm exhausted and starving.
- What Hank heard: Let's make something quick and easy for dinner.
- What I meant: Take me out to dinner.
- What I said: Does this look okay?
- What Hank heard: Does this look okay?
- What I meant: Tell me I look beautiful.
- What I said: Sure, do it if you want to.
- What Hank heard: That's an awesome idea.
- What I meant: I don't want you to.
- What I said: Are you serious?!
- What Hank heard: Are you serious!?
- What I meant: You can't be serious.
- What I said: How much do you love me?
- What Hank heard: How much do you love me?
- What I meant: I’m going to ask for something expensive!
Feel free to add any that I may have missed.